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While perusing in the poetry section of our local Buns and Noodle, I came across this poem.  It struck a chord.  It caused me to get a tear in my eye and look to see if anyone noticed as I wiped it quickly away.  It made my day.  Now I want to share it with you.

i carry your heart with me

by e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Hey, me here. Just another note to let you all know I am still alive. Haven’t been on-line much. Keeping busy. Snapping back at the blues and the desperation that sets in when you have a house for sale and nobody is looking.

Began going to the gym to get my girlish figure back. Lost it somewhere along the line. But now is a great time to go searching for it again.

Been knitting too! Have Nantucket ready for the blocking board. Then the finishing. Got to a point where I was needing a brainless - really brainless - knit. So I made a dish towel and cloth. Will post the pattern and a pic later. Been swimming with Mermaid as well. And caressing Maidenhair. All of these little loves will be discussed later in a picture loaded post.

Went to a cat show with Jack last weekend. He got his Championship! Now he is ready to get bulked up and jump in the ring with the big boys. He is still small and very light for his age group. Any suggestions for a food that cats cant resist? Right now he is eating Royal Canin Selective (formulated with the picky kitty in mind) and Avoderm Selects - Tuna and Crab is the only combo he will touch. He spends hours trying to bury any other combo. The tile around his food area is developing runnels because of my attempts to find a food he will eat!

Am getting ready to head to the gym for my afternoon of fun and frolic. I will leave you with this until I can get my camera downloaded and more pics for the posting.

Yes, I am the man. It was nothing. I just sat there and looked awesome. I can’t help it if I am the best lookin’ dude on the block. What? Me conceited? No, that would be that other cat that got Best in Show.

And, I really, really need to get caught up with my internet/blogger friends.  Boy, have I been bad or what???

Well, still here.  Still on the High Plains of good ole Wyoming.

The boyfriend left for NY yesterday morning.  The week before was spent busily repairing the little things, building a new porch/deck on the front of the house, painting the older decks, hauling the accumulation of wood, fencing, and other discarded items to the dump.

Haven’t been doing much else.  Just wishing the house would sell so DS2 and I can hit the road in June.

Don’t have much to say.  But, will get better.  Just need to get into the single mom thing and not focus on the tunnel ahead.  Yes, that one.  The one with no light at the end of it.

Just a quick bit to say that I am still here. Haven’t been writing due to the disaster zone that is my home.

Today, my mudroom is in my family room alcove. My kitchen can be found in my front room. The den is conveniently located between the refrigerator, range, bench and the front door.

Why the DZ? We are replacing the kitchen floor so the new tenants, whoever they may be, can enjoy brand spanking new Armstrong vinyl flooring! Lucky poos. And the den is getting new carpeting.

Answer me this. What is it about moving that activates the home improvement gene in some people?

Helen, this first one is for you!

On the knitting front, Mermaid has come out of hibernation and is swimming right along. Now that I am immersed in the pattern, it is fun. It is an interesting construction. I want to make another one. Wonder what it would be like in cotton or rayon. Hmm…. Great summer evening jacket.

Nantucket is coming along as well. I was so excited about the pattern and the ease in knitting that I made a “why the rush?” mistake. Easy fix, just a bit of frogging and a re-knit of the collar on the left front.

Alice Starmore’s Maidenhair is a work of art. It may take me a year of knitting to finish her, but, what a finish! Have gotten 50 rows into the back and have only 4 to 5 inches of fabric! Small needles, fine yarn, wonderful finished product for anyone that can stick to it!

I know, I know…no pictures. Once the DZ that is my home is put back into some semblance of order and I have a clear space on a table to get some, pictures will happen. Until then, take my word for it. The garments are here. The garments are under construction. The garments are great!

Love, like life, has many phases. It has its ups, its downs, its fast and slow, its hot and cold.

Many times in life, we forget that love has a life of its own. We give up on it. We toss loved ones aside because the hot phase is working toward a cooling phase. We forget that this rollercoaster will bring us back, not to the same peak, but maybe one higher, better.

Sometimes, we just need to sit and enjoy the slow phase, work to make it through the down phase, and bundle up to endure the cold phase. After these difficult phases we might just find that it is all worth it. That the work turned that passionate love into something more enduring. It strenthened that love into a bond as strong and forged steel.

Today I realized that my relationship with my BoyFriend/DH has moved into another phase. It was like a smack on the head. I have moved from one of those “you are my friend and I enjoy being with you” phases, to one of those “I love you so much I don’t know what my life would be without you” phases.

What caused this movement? It was little things. It was noticing his consideration. It was observing his kindness. The way he talks about me to my friends and his. The little things like being there for me when I am not in the best of moods. And, the way he re-invents our marriage for the better whenever he can. His humor. His laugh. His strength.

With our upcoming move, he has made a real and valiant effort to come back to me as my friend and partner. With our upcoming move, our children are going to be scattered across the United States. It will just about be Just Us for the first time in over 20 years. He is making sure that we, as a couple, will be able to ride the wave of this next phase in our lives, and land, high and dry other side.

You know? When I met him so many years ago, I got lucky. He has shaped and formed my life, my very soul, in ways I never would have imagined that day, in the grocery store of all places, in Spain.

Hey, ya know what? I think I am in love!

The Nantucket Jacket, designed by Norah Gaughan, is a gorgeous garment! It looks good on everyone that I have seen wear it. It has cables and seed stitch and twisted stitches. Just enough variation in the pattern to make it a fun and interesting knit without being so overwhelming that you need to watch a chart.

That being said, I have found one problem that I would like to address for any hapless soul that is going to put the work into making this gorgeous piece of knitwear. The gauge isn’t right! No, it isn’t just a little off, it is waaaaaay off. Let me explain.

I am not a small person. I did my gauge swatch, I always do my gauge swatch. Don’t hate me because I can knit, hate me because I swatch. Anyway, I got the perfect 18 sts and 24 rows for 4 inches. Then I did the second recommended swatch and got the perfect 24 sts and 24 rows to 4 inches again. Did I say perfect? It was spot on perfect!
With full confidence that this would be a garment that I could wear and feel proud of, I cast on for the size that the schematic showed would fit me the best. I began to knit. My sweater to wear on the move “Back East” was progressing quickly. It was proving to be a fun knit. The yarn was working up wonderfully! Then, as I was working on about the 5th decrease for the skirt, a light went on in my head. Then a voice rang out in the zen-like silence that comes over me when I am working on a satisfying, gratifying project.

“Hey”
“What!”
“Hey You!”
“What!”

“Did you realize that you are using 32″ circulars?“

“Well, yes.”

“Do you see a problem here?“

“What?”

“Don’t start that again. Just go get a tape measure and measure that puppy!“

I got up, not wanting to anger the voice in my head, and got my trusty little measure. I laid the knitted piece out and, without measuring, saw a leetle bit of a big problem.

I was using 32″ circulars. Oh, my inner zen voice already pointed that out, right?

Right. The skirt, after 5 decreases, was wider than my needles were long. I measured.

“Crrrrrrrrrrrap!” said very loudly with a very satisfying rolling of the r. Not very zen-like, I admit.

It measured in at a full 48 inches! That wouldn’t have been so bad if I was knitting the entire body of the sweater in one piece. But, this was the back I was working on here!

I muttered a few very vile words and did some measuring and calculating.

Damn!

How could this be?

My gauge swatches were both right!

Spot on!

What happened?

In order to get the size I needed, I would have to go down to the small! I am not a small person! I didn’t want to go down in needle size because of the need for the length provided by the row count. And, because my gauge was spot on, what needle size would I go down to anyway? Is there an errata on this that I am not aware of?

Armed with the knowledge of the size I would have to make, I dove into the frog pond, muttering and grumbling the entire time.

I was amazed when, after casting on for the smaller size, how quickly the skirt reformed.

“Fewer stitches, Bozo“

“Oh - STFU!“

The first contest is up for those of you that want to play. It is aimed at spinners and the winner(s) will receive 4 ounces unpicked/unwashed red alpaca. If you need my email leave a comment here. If you are playing, you would also leave a comment on this post. If you want to play, go to the page “YOTM” and read the rules…

This round ends on 5 March! So, get to playin’ yous guys!!!

hint: all answers can be found in the book “In Sheep’s Clothing”.

I have a winner!

K of SheWhoMeasures won a box full of alpaca cria fiber!

There is still some fiber left and I have upped the weight of this box of gold to whatever will fit into a 7×7x6 Priority shipping box! Give it a go, this is really nice fiber!!!!

The friendly area postal carrier delivered my new USB cable yesterday! As a result, the pictures that were to go with an earlier post can be uploaded. You can find them in the “The Harlingen Girls!, Ophelia, and Headed Out East (Nantucket)” post from last week.

I am so glad to be up and technologically capable once again. I think, to alleviate any future mishaps with cables, that I will purchase about 10 more and keep them stashed with my yarn. That should keep me from imploding the next time a cable goes on walkabout!

Mom doesn’t know this…that little snaky thing that she was looking for? I buried it in the laundry hamper. Shhh…don’t tell her. She will be really angry and give me dog food for dinner. I will just lie here atop the wonderfully odoriferous clothing and look innocent.

And, that Knitting in the Shadows lady is starting to threaten me about my Mermaid, languishing on the knitting rocks.  She said if the Mermaid doesn’t get to swimming again, she is going to “taunt me from the shadows”!  Ha!  Like that is going to frighten me into doing something!  Well, it could…

If you own a dog, please read this.

Thursday night our little Jezzabelle became severely ill. Our normally happy-go-lucky little girl was so ill that I thought we were going to lose her. At 1:30 a.m. I called the vet and made a mad rush to the clinic with a lethargic dog on the verge of going into shock.

The vet clinic is a 20 minute drive from my home. I placed her in the front seat of the truck and began the drive, talking to her, singing to her, making sure she didn’t go away.

Once at the clinic, my worst fears, or so I thought, were put to rest. She hadn’t gotten into any toxin - as in poison. The vet gave her a shot to stop the vomiting, medication to ease her abdominal pain and antibiotics to combat any infection that may have set in. Then we set about trying to figure out what had happened. Both of us grasped at straws and came up empty handed. We couldn’t figure out what had happened to cause such a sudden onset of illness and to such a severe degree.

Today, almost a full 4 days later, she is still lethargic and not herself. My concern made me go to my favorite research tool - the internet.

What I found was frightening and exactly what had happened.

Thursday morning I made plum/grape juice for breakfast. And, yes it was really good! I usually use the remaining pulp in fruit bread. But that day, I decided to give it to the hens as a treat.

When I went out to do my evening chores, I brought it out and placed it in one of their feed tubs. There was almost 2 lbs of fruit pulp there!

Later that evening both dogs went out for their evening constitutional and made a bee-line for the barn and that feed tub. Not thinking anything of it, I didn’t get alarmed or call them off. Both dogs had a gay old time, snacking on the bird treat and playing with one another.

About a hour later, Jezzabelle was ill, but not abnormally or violently ill. As the evening progressed, she got worse and worse until she was vomiting blood, which resulted in the above mentioned trip to the vet.

What caused the toxic reaction? Grapes! Common, green, seedless grapes. The grapes, being an unknown toxin to me, hadn’t set off any alarm bells when I saw the dogs partaking of the fruit. But, as a result, my little Jezzie got food poisoning from the grape toxins and a secondary illness that Cocker Spaniels are known to get. Although this illness can affect all dogs, it is more common to find it in Cockers and a few other breeds.

We are still concerned with our Jezzie. She isn’t out of the woods yet. But, because she has survived for this length of time, her prognosis is good.

Moral of the story - don’t allow your dog to eat grapes or raisins.  Visit the above “Grapes” link and the links from that page to learn more about what is toxic to our K-9 friends.  You owe it to your pet.  You owe it to yourself.

I want change!

Check out the link and pass it on.